One time the Chafetz Chaim sat with Bochurim and they schmoozed about [the concept of] Cheshbon haNefesh.1 So he told them about the first time that he conducted a Cheshbon haNefesh.
When he was an orphan of twelve years of age he traveled to another city and studied there in a kloyz [small synagogue]. His study partner was a tall and handsome lad who impressed everyone.
Once a Jew came to the Shtetl to look for a groom and he naturally chose the friend of the Chafetz Chaim, and he took him along with him back to Warsaw.
Afterward, a widower wrote to the Chafetz Chaim that he heard that he [i.e. the Chafetz Chaim] has a mother a widow, and he [i.e. the widower] wants to marry her – but only on condition that – he, the Chafetz Chaim will marry his daughter. What doesn’t one do for a mother? So he agreed and he traveled back home where they wrote double Tnoyim.2
The Chafetz Chaim returned exactly how he left with the same tattered caftan and torn boots – because sadly the prospective father-in-law was a very poor person.
A half a year later his friend returned from Warsaw outfitted in a new silk caftan and nice boot. But the main thing he bragged about was his heavy gold watch.
The Chafetz Chaim admitted that the golden watch greatly impressed him – although at that time when he was still a child.
The friend tried to convince him: “You need to demand what you deserve. The prospective father-in-law will need to give in. Take my advice! Go to your [prospective] father-in-law and state clearly: either you give me a golden watch or I’m going to break the engagement.”
The Chafetz Chaim allowed himself to be persuaded [by his friend]. He had a few groschen – so he hired a droshky3 and traveled to Radin.
On the way, he encountered a magnificent Fiacre4 that belonged to a very wealthy man. Right then, as they met each other, the carriage slipped, and the wealthy man fell into thick mud – and his heavy golden watch fell out of his pocket and fell into the mud.
The Chafetz Chaim remarked: “That was a moment of true Cheshbon Hanefesh – the watch that I’m chasing after can also fall into the mud, so what do I need it for?”
I.F.
Avraham Perlov
[who] heard it directly from the Chafetz Chaim
- A soul reckoning. Taking stock of one’s moral character.
-
i.e. both for the Chafetz Chaim and his mother. Tnoyim is a written document that the representatives of the bride and groom sign wherein the bride and groom enter into a contractual obligation to marry each other. Various financial arrangements are also outlined in the contract.
- A horse-drawn coach.
- four-wheeled horse-drawn carriage.
